if u ever find the city of tiny apples, i'll tell u

“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me.As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea. 


When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task.
He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die. I said to him that I thought he was foolish. there were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach.


One man alone could never make a difference.


He smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said,
"It makes a difference for this one."


I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.”

~adapted from

The Starfish Thrower

by Loren Eiseley

a much much much more bigger heart

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

speak of words of kindness words of kindness words of kindnesss

forgive forgive forgive forgive forgive

when the moon is upside down

think not and you won't

fear not and you can

sing a little lullaby

and dance a little dance

whenever i think of it...it scares me

aint this the handsomest thing ever?

tempting.

something happens to you down there

nicer than a basket of dice. 

the shell that screamed canteen

u noe "he says she says"?
lets do a little version of he says she says today.


he says : music then lyrics
she says: lyrics then music


okie cookie, let's watch :)

so he says? she says?

if boys would be men, would girls be ladies?

as free as it seems, it depends on each individual to make it worth living.


For this entire semester, design would be group and group projects only. when people say its difficult to live under one roof where even then one can just hide in the room and do their own things. Its needless to say bout the level of ease in working in the same environment and having to settle things out and make decision together.


if it makes any sense at all, as the number of people increases, all things can be both easier and harder and faster and slower to be achieved all at the same time. so, i guess it truly depends on how we work things out.


for one, if every single one were to count and measure how much work one did more than another, there definitely isn't going to be an end to it all.


so thanks to the reminder somewhere, i was once reminded again that everything one does are worth the task whether or not it is being appreciate by others. because whatever one does is a done deal, while whether it is visible now or never, it is still a done deal. it may or may not be noticeable, there are eyes above that see it all.

the reality, the plan, the future? i'll leave it in Your hands.

alrighto, let's face the reality for a second here. in less than 1 year, i'll be graduating from my diploma. By then, the only options i have is to either get into a local university, which most probably has the slimmest chance of all since they only accept like 30? diploma students out of the entire nation, OR, to start collecting RM100k from now on and get into the next cheapest yet accredited university in Tasmania.

one of the difficult thing about taking architecture is, the government only accredit degree from local universities, universities from UK, Aus, NZ and Sg. yeap, not even the US.

the cruel truth is, other than AUS, the others would be way too impossible. while getting into local universities are definitely more difficult than winning a lottery.

none of the private universities in malaysia is accredited for their bachelor degree course in architecture. yes. None! how cruel is that. 

i've never really fancy studying abroad as i rather save the cash to travel when i'm done with studies. but looks like now, i don't have a choice. its either, i get into a local u, or i finished my diploma and start working till i have the cash to go aus to get my degree. OR, i can quit architecture.

for Tasmania, 

bachelor degree in architecture (3 years) : 50,112 AUD 

annual tuition fee                                     : 16,704 AUD

diploma students get to enter into 2nd year, 2nd sem = 3 - 1.5 = 1.5 years left

if gpa 3.50 and above, gets 25% off annually,

16,704 x 75% = 12,582 AUD

12,582 x 1.5 years = 18,873 AUD

living expenses a year = 12,000 AUD

12,000 x 1.5 years = 18,000 AUD

18,873 + 18,000 = 36,873 AUD

total $ for Bachelor Degree (Part I) = 36,873 AUD = RM 117,993

and that's just Bachelor Degree. Another two years in Masters (Part II) = another 32k for tuition fees + 2 years of living expenses. roughly another RM180k.

now, what?

let's just say after diploma, i start working. and i earn 2k every month. save it all up, i would have to work for 5 years straight to get 120k. and that, i would just managed to save enough for my Part I. by then i'll most probably be 27? 

damn. still acceptable. 27, finish part I, comes back to msia, 29. start working as an architect. and salary may increase till perhaps 3-4k. i can stop here if i just wan to have a degree. 


and if, IF, i really want to an Ar. title infront of my name. i could work another 5 years to save up. by 32, i'll go get my masters. by 34 i'll have my Part II. work for 2 years, and by 36, i can have my first try in the part III exam. say, with God's blessing, i passed within 3 tries. i'll be 39 when u hear ppl calling me Ar.Melissa.

hmm....this plan still seems acceptable. many of my lecturers have yet to become an Ar. 

so, maybe, i should get married before going for my master. even my lecturer was carrying a baby to her master class. therefore, not impossible.

sigh. heads up! there's still hope. 

If this is the plan for me, He'll provide. even impossible things He can do, what more this plan which is already calculated out. dear Lord, dear Lord.

Jesus replied,

" I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what has done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 21: 21-22

show d little ones and they show u more

when i show this video to my student and asked her to summarize it...

she said: 

" 所谓双手是活宝, 一世用不了."

n i was like... wow. 

the tree with long whiskers

i love to watch

the old oak tree

and count the changes

i can see

in summer leaves

all green and gay

whisper gently

come out and play

autumn comes

the days grow cold

the leaves they rustle

now we're old

the winter's here

the tree is bare

the leaves have gone

i don't know where

but spring arrives

i look and see

brand new buds

on the old oak tree

~ an old old english textbook

to fly a kite or to jump a river

jingle bell, batman smells...lalalalala

tons of happie things to do like counting peanuts and juggling oranges.

but i can't seem to find enough time for all

holiday is sweet, holiday is neat.

holiday is toooooo short for you to waste on sleep.

back to counting sheeps....