Because all these while, deep down inside, it is in there

" pick the path that lights you up. the one you know deep down is the right choice. stop listening to doubt. start connecting with courage. do not let the idea of normal get in the way. it may not be the easy path, but you know great things take effort. lean into your determination. lean into your mission. lean into the real you. "

~ yung pueblo 

do you know that feeling, when someone said something, that resonates in your mind. Those words, that reignite the fire in you. 

Those words, echoing even after the phone call ended, those few words, and the bonds begin to connect, links begin to form, one after another, forming this big vision, of what was, what is, and what could be. 

and all of a sudden, your fire came burning, strong, hard, vigorously, so hot that you start jumping in bubbles, excited to share with the world your whole big plan of what will be. 

You are once again filled with motivation, passion, you remembered, what it's like to run with full speed, you recalled the moments of adrenaline rush, you reflect on seasons of high points, though difficult but full of purpose, full of effort, filled with energy and passion. and you look forward to having that feeling again, the reason to work hard, the race to run, the time of preparation....

and what feels better than that?

it is when someone, by your side, telling you, that, hey, i want to run alongside with you. 

"i am willing to let go of everything to run with you, even if the journey is difficult, but you are there."

i sincerely believe, 

God arranged and plan every single individual you will meet. 

and most of the time, the like minded will gather together. it is this kind of aura that attract each of you to meet, to gather, to come together. 

looking around me, suddenly i realized, they are all here, all around me. and those words that i once shared, came running back at me. This motivation, came back to motivate me. 

I was lost, but now i am found. I was cold but now i am burning again. 

i want to run, i want to fight, i want to be back on track again. 

and You know, that this is the path that, no matter what difficulties come your way, you will be happily burning, so bright, so strong, because it is your calling. 

Be Strong and Courageous

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

" Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:5-9

My Lighthouse

you said,
You're my lighthouse, and you will bring me safe to shore. I will trust in You, even when the oceans roar.

In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won't let go
In the questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness. I will follow You
My lighthouse, my lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore

I won't fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My lighthouse, my lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore

Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms
Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms
Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms
Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms

My lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My lighthouse, my lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore

Sometimes i forget

"i want to do things like that too. i don't want to work for the sake of working, or do things for the sake of doing. i want to create things that would make people love, make people smile, make people cry, make people feel. i want to create things that will make an impact, or make a little change, i want to help, i want to help people learn, help people love. and maybe through helping, i would myself learn how to love."

Sometimes sometimes, i forget the things i've learn.
sometimes sometimes, when i forget, it is as if i have not learnt the lesson.
but at those times when i forget, i am very grateful to have found, that i have wrote it down somewhere, that it reminded me again.

and today, it was this sentence that i have once learned, and told myself i need to remember.
but in the end forgotten, until i saw it again today, on this blog.

and today, i want to say this again, because till this day, i am grateful i still feel this way.
i want to do things like that too. i don't want to work for the sake of working, or do things for the sake of doing. i want to create things that would make people love, make people smile, make people cry, make people feel. i want to create things that will make an impact, or make a little change.
i want to help, i want to help people learn, help people love. and maybe through helping, i would myself, learn how to love.


so dear God, please help me to remember, if i ever forget again.
that this is really what i want to do.

and as for today's application, it will be,
i want to do thesis like that too. i don't want to work for the sake of grades, or do drawings for the sake of submitting. i want to create designs that would make people love, research that make people smile, building that make people cry, make people feel. i want to create something that will make an impact, or make a little change. i want to help, i want to help people learn, help people love. and maybe through helping, i would myself, learn how to love, through architecture.

and i still believe, no matter which stage of life am i in, this will be applicable, and i hope, that no matter which stage of life am i in, i will still feel this way.

Of Solitude or the art of learning to be alone

Of endless long baths with a cup of hot tea in hand,
Of mellow music playing, any kind, any time
Of then the cozy bath robe, tied or not,
who needs pants or clothes, there's no one to look,
Of any food you want, no one to judge or say,
any dishes to clean, now, later or another day,
Of drowning in books, day in, day out, in bed,
Of sketching endless drawings, no words needed to be said,
Of time to pray, time to think, time to sing,
Of dancing anytime, anyhow, with or without music.
Of daydreaming and staring into the sky, smiling,
Of snuggling in bed, breakfast at 4pm in the day,
Of following your heart, and let it take lead,
for a little while, for a few days.....
for there may only be a short moment, one moment, where you are in solitude, really alone.

How Good is our Lord?

Again and again, 
He never fail to amaze me 
How good is our Lord? 

 Despite all the mistakes, 
 given and taken away, 
 yet still He is willing to forgive us.
 After all the bad decisions I've made, 
 and just one silent prayer i whispered, 
 He immediately made things happen. 
 you may think He is silent, 
 you may think He didnt care,  
but all He is doing was waiting 

waiting for you to see that He's there. 
Waiting for you to realize His presence, 
 waiting for you to give up the wheel, 
 waiting for you to acknowledge Him 
 and let Him take control. 

 How Good is our Lord? 
 Of the many times i have failed Him, 
 of the many times i ignore His call, 
 He was silent in His waiting, 
 waiting for me to let go of it all.

 He knew i will come back to Him, 
 even before i know i would, 
 He had faith in me knowing, 
 even when I lost faith in Him when i shouldnt. 

 How Good is our Lord? 
 Of the times when i doubted and complained, 
 He stood there listen to my whining, 
 at the times when i cried and in pain, 
He helped me whenever i call. 

 and when I finally did acknowledge His presence, 
 the moment the heart decides to return, 
 He immediately answer my prayer, 
 as much as i didnt deserve. 

 How Good is our Lord? 
 for it is not by our will or by our actions, 
 that we are measured for what we are given,
 It is not by our faith or behaviour,
 that we are given what we own. 

 He gives even when we fail Him, 
 He gives even when we fall, 
 He is our loving Father in heaven, 
 on earth and forevermore.

“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.”

 ― Cecelia Ahern, Love, Rosie

let love

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name. 

 Proverbs 3:3-4

loving what you do

its April, and i'm a happie person.
Despite all the workload and pressure from uni, im happie at where i am right now. They say,

and i'm nodding to that. There are some of my coursemates who find it a struggle to be doing all the assignments and to handle the workload, that sometimes when they focus too much on the work itself, they forgot to enjoy what they're doing, and why they are doing what they are doing. Saying so, im not a better individual, and no, i don't manage my time better than any of them.  its just sometimes, its sad to see them wasting away in work and not having fun while doing it. because, really, whats the point of trying so hard and doing all these, if you're just doing for the sake of doing. i just wish they share the joy i have while learning. I find joy in learning making things easier and bearable. Everyone says architecture is not a course for human, i definitely agree. Sleepless nights, neverending submissions, infinity considerations and tons of problem solving, does this make us a better individual? nah.. i think every job has their difficulties and struggles. architecture students are no different from other students. but what i cant deny is, you can't do architecture if you don't love what you do. 

my siblings always asked me, wondering how can i stay up all week, work non stop, eat sleep and live infront of my work for months during peak season. it all comes back to this statement. i often smile and continue doing. no, staying up is not easy for me, no... eating and sleeping in the living room for weeks is not enjoyable for me, but given me 10 chances to do it over and over again, i will still make the same choices. there are times i hyperventilate as the datelines approaches, there are times when i cried as i'm buried in all the submission dates lining up so close to each other, those are the times when im grateful i have an awesome family, and awesome battlemates, a group of supporting friends, and an AMAZING God. because, they are always being there reminding me, why i'm doing these, and why i'm putting myself through all these struggles. 

i realized, i' never really admitted that i love architecture. that is because i wasn't sure if i really love architecture or i just want to do it just because i thought i want to. But today, the reason i type this post, its because i can finally admit and tell myself, i really love doing architecture. 

no, im still not into beautiful buildings or constructions. no, i'm still not into the money or the fame from architecture. What i really love about architecture is this,

i like how architecture influences people. 

i like how the building is mold to suggest activities for people.

Build two doors right beside each other and neighbours will greet and say hi.

Build a wall between two neighbours and they will never meet the eye. 

i like how family grows in houses designed with considerations for them. 

i like how the sun flows into the building so people doesn't have to turn on the lights.

i like how the wind blows, when people can have tea by their houses, 

i like how the window shows, that people can dream and think of others. 

i like how architecture improves life.

i like how anthropometry studies gives users a healthier life.

i like how the considerations of constructions, save a tree life.

i like how waste reduction returns the animal their homes,

i like how i can contribute, to do my part in loving others. 

i like how architecture understands things.

i like how architecture involves many occupations.

i like designing different buildings so i can understand different people.

i like how learning bout them helping me love different people,

i like how architecture can make them work happier. 

design a postoffice makes me love postmen,

as i need to think and consider for them.

design a community centre makes me understand,

how what and why people behave badly sometimes. 

i used to only love the subject on design. 

the other theories subject i find it a waste of time.

but now i understand how these others knowledge can help,

to equip me in molding a complete design.

now i finally understand what Herman tells me,

to always know what you're doing and always Ask Why. 

i don't love what is architecture, 

but i love how architecture, and why architecture.

reasons to keep you going :)

one of my friend said, i guess life is like this. shitty things happen...

and yea..i guess.. shitty things do happen..... but, you just got to find reasons to keep you going..
finding your purpose in life, your motivation to move forward, your strength to wake up each morning and your reason to smile again...

i just got to keep reminding myself what's mine :')
jia you jia you jia you!

to use your heart and not your brain

if you were given a choice to choose, will you choose to have a fragile heart or a harden heart?

Quoting C.S.Lewis,

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

i find the matter of the heart very important to me. i depend on my heart a lot. there's this thing that i always tell myself when i am about to do something silly like spending nights not sleeping to create gifts that people never even ask for, or might not even appreciate, or when i'm about to embarrass myself to cheer someone up, that is:

" its time to use your heart and not your brain".

confused?

i personally believe that everything that the heart does is towards the advantage of others. for example, when you're about to make a gift for someone, you use your heart and not your brain. Because, if you use your brain, you would possibly end up taking the most practical route; the time and cost efficient way to achieve that goal. But, if you use your heart, all you will think of is how happy the receiving person will be upon receiving this gift; even if it means you have to sacrifice your time, your sleep and your money to put in all your effort in creating that gift. Because what matters to the heart is the other person, but what matters to the brain is, common sense, logical sense, trying to reason all things out and protect yourself. to use the heart is by listening to God's whisper and the holy spirit, to use the brain is like depending on your own wisdom.

i like how C.S.Lewis quote it. "to love at all is to be vulnerable". it hits the point right on. it is true when you uses your heart, you get hurt so easily. To others, it might seem to be the silliest thing to do, when i use my heart. But to me, that's all that matter. emotional? i choose to not take that as emotional. irrational? maybe, but i like to be that way. love isn't at all rational to begin with. Even God's love are all things but rational.

Rational thinking will say, if that person doesn't do you any good and brings harm to you, your brain will tell you to stay away. But God's love says, if that person doesn't love you, love them anyways. love your neighbours but love your enemies more. If someone hits you on the right cheek, offer them your left cheek. Is that rational? totally not. your wisdom will tell you its not worth getting hurt. that person didn't care, why do you even bother? but you will do so, if you use your heart. Because, the heart knows that, doing so is helping that other person, even if it hurts yourself to do so. Of course i'm not saying that one should help the other person blindly with all your heart till the point like stealing or killing for that person. Everything still needs to go according to God's word. 

What i meant is, if someone hurts you in the past, by forgiving that person and continue to help that person, you're risking yourself of being hurt again. In moments like these, your brain will tell you to stay as far as you can from that person, to keep your guard up, to protect yourself. But your heart, will say otherwise. Continue to stay close with that person to help them, that doesn't mean you don't keep your guard up, you do, but you still are willing to risk yourself in getting hurt because doing so is the only way to ensure you are doing no harm to anyone else, except yourself. 

and no, i'm not doing that because i like to hurt myself. But because i have the faith that, God will be the one who will be protecting and watching over me. i leave that part to God. i'm weak, i can't protect myself. but i have a great God who can. He did say in psalm 121:7,

The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;

And in 2 Thessalonians 3:3 states,

But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 

so, all one have to do is use all his heart and all his soul to do God's will, and live according to His word. to use his heart and not his brain to love regardless of whether the person deserves it or not. 

when you are willing to use your heart, you'll realize that you care so much more, be it for the people, animal, the environment or basically anything, everything will matter to you. Having said that, you will also realize, how weak your heart has become. you'll find that many days you'll have a heavy heart because there are so many things that you care about, every little things will strike the heart, your heart will hurt. that's probably why little children cry a lot, because they use their heart in everything they do. i guess that's what C.S.Lewis meant by being vulnerable. 

learning petals

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,

“We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” 

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

hit d pause button at the right corner, to stop the looping music of the blog. -->  (just above God hears every word :)



tho the song is a little slow n draggy, but i adore the lyrics. the article challenged us to study the lyrics of the song, and live them out in our daily life. clickety click for the full article.



Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. tats nice.

keep dancing, even when your heart sank

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

until you let go

I took a burden to the Lord 

To cast and leave it there. 

I knelt and told Him my plight, 

And wrestled deep in prayer. 

But rising up to go my way 

I felt a deep despair,

For as I tried to trudge along, 

My burden was still there! 

Why didn’t you take my burden, Lord?

Oh, won’t you take it please. 

Again I asked the Lord for help, 

His answering words were these: 

My child, I want to help you out 

I long to take your load

I want to bear your burdens too 

As you walk along life’s road. 

But this you must remember, 

This one thing you must know. . . 

I cannot take your burden 

Until you let it go.

 written by Betty Curti 

legs are made to move

i think, everyone in this world should spend some time watching this.

after watching, i googled and found a blogger's review on how this movie is only  for kids and children, with its animation and illogical illustrations. no comment on the message of it or whatsoever, it is plainly described as a children movie. 

i find it, untrue, and felt that its totally underrated.

there's just so much more than what it seems in this movie. It may seems like one children movie and i do not deny that children will definitely enjoy this movie, but i think, this movie is one of the best movie i've ever seen. and by saying this, i don't mean in a childish way. this movie allows one to go into deep thoughts yet it is actually just trying to show the basic truth. it is ironic how directly indirect it tells the story through the perspective of the little special one, and his unique thinking. the movie clearly display how children are often mislabeled for their misbehavior, how adults not taking children reason seriously, and i'm inspired by the it trying to give out the message of how each and every children nowadays are being "taught" on that one way to think. 

in fact, they do not really need to be taught on how to think. i believe God has made each and every individual specially with thoughts in mind and molded them to be different and special. and that's just how its supposed to work.

there are so much to learn from children, and its ironic to think that adults are actually thinking otherwise. 

i guess, children actually enjoy this movie because they are more open and humble in the sense of learning and the review from the blogger just further proves how true the message is. 

Message of d day

We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Hebrews 6:11 -12

春虫虫

思莹曰:

"不管在怎么样的情况下, 我们一定要记得微笑, 微笑是一股巨大的力量, 让你拥有最大的勇气去面对所有困难"

that big fluffy cloud

tho i always have a plan

i don't always go according to plan

~:)

so i buckled up my belt and went with it

in every task to do

 there's always a debate.

the one who says : why now?

and the other who says : why wait? 

~=)

He knew even before i ask

GOD has no iPhone, but I talk to him .

He has no Facebook, but he is my friend .

Does not have twitter, but I still follow Him.

And even without internet, I’m still in

contact with Him.

~unknown