It is now my responsibility

oh no oh no...juz heard something from my eldest sis. Now I feel extremely guilty. sigh sigh sigh... I'm so not a good child. Eldest sis staying in hostel for more than 5 years now, while 2nd sis just left to uni. Now, I'm actually the oldest among the siblings (home, i mean.)?? oh no~~I used to be so dependent on my 2nd sis, and now that she has left to uni, I realized that I'm actually so...useless.. as in..not contributing anything to the family. Now, even Reagan might move into sport school, that means left Jason and I on the list. Despite how much I dislike working in the office, I guess its now my responsibility to help out. I shouldn't be so selfish-ly enjoying all the lepak-ing during my free time from college..So, instead of sitting here being pathetic while feeling guilty, I should get up and start doing something for a change...I need to do my part. Right....I need to make this right!!!

God...please grant me the wisdom to do this right. Help me in this would ya?? Cast away all my selfish thoughts and desires....I ask for Your strength and will power...Thank You God. Amen.

lets get together...yay~~ yay~~ yay~~

Most of my form six friends have left to their uni yesterday which includes a few close ones like zh, wy,yt and my sista!!
My friends are now officially placed all over the world, and also, all over Malaysia. sigh...but I guess this is just a phase of life that everyone will go through and I guess I just have to live with the fact that we can't stay together forever...Its not like I'm never gonna see them again..just don't know when.

Now, zhi hui in penang, wan yoon in johor, yui teng in perak and sis is the nearest among all; just in serdang. At least she can come home every weekend. Although many lepak kaki have left, but this time of the year, summer holiday everywhere, which means, holiday for friends abroad!!! Jia yin is coming back real soon, Elaine is back and it won't be long till Flora comes home, and Donna!! My football kakis....yay!! hopefully we're be able to gather enough people to play a game!! Although during form 6, there are few new kaki, but Flora and Elaine and Tetz? They are the ones who brought me into the game... My sifus...

I'm so glad this is a relaxing semester. There's still free time for me to lepak, even if that means staying up late to finish assignments in order to lepak during the day.hehe...I'm so excited to see them right now...

God, bless those who're on their way back with journey mercies. May they have a smooth flight home and bless them with good health Lord, that none of them will be attack by any illness especially the H1N1 virus that's so deadly right now. Father Lord, I ask for your blessing to be upon those who have left homes to pursue their studies too. May it be abroad, across the ocean or within Malaysia, Lord, I pray that they'll be able to adapt with the new environment soon, Lord and help them to feel comfortable to mix around and make new friends. Father Lord, even though some of them did not get the course of their choice Lord, I pray that they'll be able to enjoy this course that You have given them Lord, knowing that You God, always have a greater plan for us, greater than anyone could ever imagine. Thank you God. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

i can't sleep

garh..........I can't believe its my turn!!!!! since dunno when, its so hard for me to fall asleep.....
wait, no, i do fall asleep, just that after an hour or so, I'll be wide awake, and inspite of how tired my body felt, my mind doesn't bother to allow it to rest!!!

ahhhhhhh.......lamoi!!!!! I dunno why imagining white blank paper doesn't work this time!!!! I feel so tired.........I wanna sleeeeeppp........how how how how how????????????? I slept at 12am just now, and woke up at 2am? aiyo......5 more hours and I have to get up to prepare for church since there's music practice in the morning....and I'm gonna have to drive since sheryl jie not around.....how am I gonna be wide awake in the morning if I don't sleep now!!!!!!! pls la pls la....let me sleep.............

1..2....3......4.....5.......6...7...8..9.............100...101............105..........107...............................................10000000000

nope..i'm still awake...........let me try closing my eyes.......

Soon

Soonby Hillsong United

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him, I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me
Then my sin erased, my shameful garden
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders round the throne
At His feet I lay
My grant, my wishing
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon
Soon and very soon
(Chorus and ending)

college???

Today....first day of college....wait...no...1st day of lesson, 2nd day of college.....first impression? totally not used to this!!!!

Just take today's lesson as example, the class was supposed to begin at 2pm and ends at 5pm, and guess what? the lecturer came in like, a quarter past 2 and left before the clock even strike 3pm. Wow, thats it and we got two assignments? Maybe its just for moral studies.. but still....it was not in my expectation..haha..anyway, its not a bad thing, at least we don't have to study moral like how we used to in secondary school.

There's more, the whole intake, as in combining the no. of student of 4 courses offered in that college, there's only a total of 16 students.. Of course, seeing that there's only 4 courses provided, 16 is not that bad..haha..9 girls and 7 guys. And there's only 3 girls in architecture.. But I guessed that wouldn't cause much problem since for this sem, all lessons are combined with the IA students, and GD/MM students. This is just a short sem to clear off the Lans subject, nothing major will be taught, at least not until the August intake students join us....

ok...something I like, hmm....there's a music room provided, instruments included, specially for students to hang out n release stress...though I haven't check out that room, mayb there's juz a keyboard there..lol

2ndly, hmm...there's actually basic drawing and basic design in my timetable!! no longer just physics, math or chem.....these subjects actually sounds interesting....although physics aren't that bad, but drawing...hmm...i'm looking forward to tmr's lesson....

oh yea, and for this sem, every thurs n fri hav no class at all...wooo...so relaxing~~~

next, the people there are friendly and nice. hmm...still..I'm not used to being around new people...believe it or not, I actually feel...intimidated...
I feel like, hugging the bible just to feel more secure..haha...okay, maybe i'm exaggerrating.. I wonder how would I survive if I'm goin to a uni far far away...definitely gonna have severe homesick!!! Hopefully this awkward phase will pass soon, I don't like this feeling, very insecure....>_<

Choice

Sometimes, it is just so hard.....so tough...so difficult to persist in a dream.

Often, there are evil little short routes, shorter and safer paths, calling out to you, asking you to just forget your -oh so far away- dream, and just take these easier paths. So many times, these paths just appeared infront of you, tempting you to walk onto them. Saying, come la~~~ come la~~ that one so tough, you can never make it one la...算了吧！！

Yet, when you're about to fall into these traps, there is this stubbornness inside you, calling out loud, NO!!! Don't go!!! you're gonna regret it someday... Calling you so hard....Begging you to just hold on to your dream a little longer. Yet, unable to give you any promises that your dream will really come true. This part only asked you to have more faith, asked you to give it more time, asked you to try harder despite all the effort that you've already put in. It can only ask you to give more....

hmm..mm...It seems so easy to just let go of that dream, to give up and take a safer path, to live a simpler life......

Still...after emo-ing....at the end of the day, I'll still say........

Neh neh neh boo boo.....I won't give up my dream so easily!!!! So what if I have to sacrifice more, so what if I wouldn't be able to experience this, so what if no one believes in me now, one day, I'll prove that this is not just a dream...this is a dream that will actually come true. No matter how old will I be, no matter how many trials I have to go through, no matter how much hard work I have to give....When that day comes, I will know that all the sacrifices are worth it, all the faith I put in are not wasted, I can finally achieve what I want to achieve.....

Mum is right, don't care about what other people think.....do what your heart desires....the final decision is yours...

now...what is my final decision??? God..pls help me to decide...to go or not to go...

To tell the truth, I have made my decision, just not sure if its the right one......>_<...God bless!!!!

Give them your heart, and they'll give you theirs...

Remember that I once mentioned about this student from the daycare centre? the young girl who once followed me to church. The 2nd week that I brought her to church, the committee had meeting, so we had to wait for my sister. She brought her homework there to do while waiting, and the diary thing was one of her homework. She asked me what to write, and I told her to write about coming to church but she told me that she had already wrote about it last week. Hence, that was why she showed me that post. There's this entry about following me to church. I don't really remember the details, but it was roughly like this......

今天是我第一次跟随我的补习老师去教堂。 她早上与她的姐姐来载我，然后把她的姐姐载到教堂后，老师就带我和她的表妹去吃点心。那里有很多不同的点心。吃饱后，还早，所以我们就到附近的公园去玩。那个公园很好玩因为有很多我没看过的东西。老师便拿出她的相机帮我拍照。然后，我想玩一个很好玩的东西可是有很多人在玩。 老师就帮我叫他们让我玩一下。我玩得很开心。 过后，我们就回到教堂去。那时还没开始， 我坐在那里很闷。老师看我很闷就带我到后面的房间去。原来那里有很多的玩具。我玩了一下就开始了。首先是唱歌，然后就轮到我们小孩子去上课。听了故事后，老师就教我们做风车和假的狗。我很喜欢这个教堂。今天是我最开心的一天。

When I was reading, I felt so...how to say? touched? not really touched? as in.. erm.. dunno how to put it. Just felt, special. Didn't know that those simple simple thing I've done that I myself don't even remember doing it, instead she wrote down all the details. And I seriously didn't think it will mean so much to her. And last Sunday, she secretly put something into my bag. When I see her smiling smiling, I asked her if there's anything wrong. Then she said: 哎哟，我很怕你看到啊。so I asked her, didn't know that she had put a little present into my bag. She was so cute....didn't want me to know but told me that she's afraid that I'll find out. Lol. which was, actually already indirectly telling me about it. Anyway, she didn't allow me to open the present until I arrived home. And only this morning when I checked my bag that I remember about the present. Here's a picture of what she gave me....she left a note in the wrapper and even made her own wrapper....she's just so sweet.....


I feel that, instead of I helping her in her life, she's doing even more in my life. With her alongside, I have to be more adult-like and more responsible. one more thing, despite the fact that I'm so much older than her, she is the one who corrects my chinese grammar. Lol...and she's only standard three...*faint....

I just hope that this coming parents day celebration, she will not feel sensitive or touchy over it. I know that it is really tough for her, losing both of her parents in such young age, I just hope that God's presence, the church and I can help her in someway. Till now, she still feels reluctant to sing in english and feels that the service is extremely boring. But at least she's enjoying the children class. She also loves to observe the people in the church, and asking lotsa questions about them. Just last week, she asked me why do they sing like this, they're so weird.. why do all of you wear the cross necklace, and lots more...Oh God, grant me the wisdom to answer her questions. She's saying that we're all superstitious...hopefully, as she grow closer with us in this church, she'll be able to feel God's presence and know that He is not rumour nor myth, but He is a real God who truly exist.

erm....erm..erm...

erm...meeks, here's the post...

好久好久没有写华文字了， 很多汉语拼音都忘记了。 susah...... erm.....oh right, 上个星期是我工作了两个月后的第一个星期假期。 可以说是节目繁多，爽~爽~爽~~~

星期二，在 Pyramid 一整天，星期三就到 Shogun 去吃 爽爽 buffet, 星期四又陪奕云到 pyramid 去那 Padini sales.. 然后就去唱 K.... hmm....

到了星期五， 我跟随奕云回她的家乡。 由于，erm.. 本人的家乡就是这里，meaning, 可以说是没有 balik kampung 的经验, 所以, 这一趟旅程还蛮不错的.

sigh....tired....only few lines after so long..... *faint.... cont....

since, 有人说我的post全部都好像essay那么长, so 这个post就短一点啦,要不然啊,到明天早上都还没完成leh....
ok....erm.. bout the trip...

星期五中午到达 Sitiawan, 休息一会儿之后就去吃晚饭了. 那里十分平静, 晚上的天气也蛮凉爽的, 让人觉得很轻松,很舒服.
可是习惯了天天上网的我, 若每天都这样应该会闷死... 哈哈....

总觉得写华文怪怪的...

anyway, 星期六一早, 我们就出发到 Pangkor 岛去. 整个旅程都不停地让我想起三年前的 church camp. 那时, 我们也来了 Sitiawan, 去了 Pangkor 一趟. Pangkor 的海水 okok,不要说肮脏的那部分啦. 那里有吊着很多个swing, 很好玩的leh....

ok...I give up... I dunno how to write leh....speak chinese can la....d essay just sounds.... weird.......hmm...
The trip to Sitiawan was not bad... quite interesting actually. Gave me the chance to experience what it feels like to live in a kampung. Livin in a house where there are roosters running in the backyard, a small town where coconut trees can be seen everywhere.... cooling night with fresher air.... not bad for a break from the always busy city..... although the stuff in the supermarket there are not cheap at all...lol.....

okay... essay long again..better stop here and start with the photos....

starting with the super long queue in Shogun....

　　　　　　　　　　　　and u say the promotion has been going on for a month already....-_-'''

Thursday.... halfway thru, a belly dancer came in...random je.....

Friday.....off to the country side!!!
on the way to Sitiawan

our first stop

and then..the mini great wall....

where we met a couple of new friends....Jeremy's gigantic Shelly
Mr.Supermice..
and the friendly seaturtle....
last stop....the beach....
taking turns to play Tarzan...
ooo eee oo ee oo~~~~~~
aaaahh~~~~~~~

even aunty joined in the fun!!
baby sea turtles climbing....
specially built by ee yun n I
and a special msg to our beloved friend who got picked by cupid...lol
on the way back, we spotted this dog who was tied under the hot hot sun..so kesian..it was trying to get into the water to lessen the heat..

also spotted this cool navy ship

on the ferry..
the Ting family


A big thank you to the Ting family for this trip.....
thus, ends my honeymoon trip with "ai yun"