if you don't do it now

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

designing is the most inspiring yet most frustrating
                       most motivating yet most discouraging
                       most captivating yet most nerve-wrecking
                       most satisfying yet most condemning
process!!!

it is so easy to picture that perfect and overwhelming building in your mind,
only to be disappointed and depressed to realize that its so so so difficult to put it down in paper with sketches, words and structures.

not to forget, to meet the requirements, to solve the non compromising space planning, the restricting site planning, the  troublesome services, the complicated structures, without sacrificing what you love to have in the design. and it seems so impossible.

where to get that positive vibe, when every morning you wake up just to be told that this won't work.
where to get that fun energy, when you don't have that designated place to keep your momentum moving.
where to get that ambitious confidence, when you don't believe you have the capability to create the expected result.

you dream your painting, then you paint your dream.
if only it's literally that simple.

that big fluffy cloud

tho i always have a plan

i don't always go according to plan

~:)

mamihlapinatapai

there was a monkey who was having a flu,

he swings from tree to tree and didn't know what to do. .

He gave that perfect blur face and sat there for an hour,

thinking what to do next, to stay out of trouble.

The monkey likes blue, and likes staring into the sky,

to study the form of clouds, and the old dusty brown lines.

He never understood anything, no matter how hard he tries.

Humans are too complicated, he could only sigh.

He secretly loves dancing, though to others he lied.

He says he never dances, not in a million time.

but when everyone left, and out came the bright sun rise,

he puts on his dancing shoes, and tip tap he will shine.

tippity tap tippity too, tippity tap on one two shoes,

he sings and he sang, he slides and he glides,

he turns round and round, until it reaches night.

pop pip pop pip pop pip pop.

so he lies on the grass, and stares back to the sky.

closes his eyes and imagines, infinity stars up high.

God told him you just wait, i'll tell you what to do,

you don't have to worry a thing, i'll let you know real soon.

so then came breaking dawn, and the final star blinks twice,

he went back being the old self, the serious, don't smile kind.

but behind that green grin grass, there's a little worm that saw,

what happened to the monkey, within that thin four walls.

beza tak apa, asalkan bersama

la la la la la la la la~

dunno wher to put tis word

"once in a red sun"

n i actually made tat up.

 haha... so lame. 

Nathan is probably a guy who likes poetry

in d car :

oma : tats how its like working in china man company
me : what china man company? ur boss from china?
oma : no. company that only has one public holiday, long hours, keep working.
me : tats racist
oma : no la. tats what people say ma.
me : but why china man?
oma : coz usually they like to calculate tis n tat
me : tats more racist. tis is going into"wat we said"
oma : eh. dun simply say.
me : and tis.
oma : pergi la lu.
me : and tat too
oma: ...
me: and tat. :D

50% alcohol plus

sometimes during the times i have time to think much stuff, i go around wandering if there's another person living in this shell that jumps. Not exactly another physical person but u noe the other someone who looks and sound like this someone but acts and think like someone else. that kind.

its creepy to think how quick can the same a second to 5 feet tall object that hops around with grinning smile can swift and change into this ugly angry pasty nasty smellie stinky monster, or maybe into that silent mind working creep that probably planning in his mind the perfect plan to kill someone with thoughts;
and not to forget ther's also this insane paranoid who comes up with all the what ifs and if only in bubbles and dreams that drags along a roller coaster of emotion with tears and absurd actions to try to fill up the holes in the broken leaking wall.
then there's this all serious looking and ambitious one with cool specs getting all inspired and motivated to get its butt as quick as it can to Spain.
plus that overly self conscious one that watched one too many movies and read too many novels and allow herself to think like old Will, going around with sonnets and songs, lining up her own storyboard and matching it with every story that she has ever come across.

oh wait. that's more than another person. there's like a whole village of nasty and kind stuff living in there. i wonder whats so interesting that they are so caught up with that place till there isn't the slightest sign of them leaving anytime soon. hmm.

is it just me or there's actually a village in every individual.
or maybe sometimes the village is there to let them alternate the schedule to work it out on who to be on duty that day just so everyone will have at least a little time to rest and be a potato.

mayb i should really skip work once in a red sun like how i lied that im having a fever today and its best to stay away from little kids just in case the supposedly existing nasty virus go spreading to the little monsters.

today, the village is gonna have a day off from the world. till the next willing person comes and take over.

no i don't know

seriously???!!! 

only recognized till 2013. seriously??!!! back to a clouded future .... :(

why...why are there so few architecture institute recognized in malaysia?

why is Singapore architecture course not recognized in Msia?

why must go abroad??

why only local u??

why r local u so difficult to get in? 

its just as simple as that :)

down down down

i thought of posting this.
then i thought of posting that
then i thought. oh well. forget bout it.
i'll just sleep instead.

not quite a good day.