once upon a time prayer

its amazing to see how God remembers your once upon a time prayer and answers it at the very unexpected moment.

masquerade

o.O i'm an architect?

according to "How i met your mother",

one of the "plan" to win a girl's heart is by telling them that you're an architect.. o.O

just simply fascinate the people around you with your design concept, and bring in the names of some famous architect like Frank Gehry, and the girls will go gaga....

hmm...

i wonder if that works the same for guys....*deep thoughts* lol

i shoot you!

yesterday tomorrow, there's no longer the "wa-ness" in owning a dslr. walk on the streets and you won't be surprise to find teens as young as 14 years of age have one hanging around their necks. More and more peeps are being exposed to photography and many made it their careers or their serious hobby.

if it was yesterday, i would say , being an amateur myself, i am learning hard to shoot, i am seeking my style and i dare not show my photographs without filtering it again and again. making sure that they aren't lousy shots. i compare my shots with others and i try to imitate certain style and angle. i tried to make it a serious hobby, building my passion in it. though reading bout the words are ....somehow, confusing....

but then, if you ask me now, what do i really like about snapping photos? i realized, the things i like about shooting didn't have anything to do with skills or techniques, dslr or compact camera...i just like shooting....

i likeeeeeee simply shooting in all different weird angles which when i review the pictures, i get to see things in a different way.
i can't turn my eyes upside down, but i can always turn Conor's eye upside down!

i likeeeeeeeee taking random shots of people and make them laugh from the silly shots i make them pose.
and so when people look back at the photos, they remember the silly things they do...

i like clicking away again and again, just to listen to the "cik cak" sound. ahh~~ because its just soooo nice~~and it made my hands so itchy that its always tempting me to just click it again.

i likeeeeeeee having a thousand photos that packed up all the space in my computer that it makes it so lag and load so slow, just so i can see the moment again, like reading a storybook with lotsa colours and little words, as the many photos combine to form a video.

maybe the photos i took, its out of proportion, there ain't any focus in this picture, lacking of strong contrast...and yada yada..
but i realize, i don't like taking photos in a right angled frame, i love things in weird proportion, i don't like to plan my photo, i don't like adjusting the light for hours just to get the "theoretically" good shot, and i am extremely lazy to edit my name into every photos i take, because i just have one too many...i don't like to think whether i'm doing the right thing or not, whether the photos are overexposed or underexposed...


and to be honest,
i know nothing at all about techniques or skills,
in fact, i don't even know what "DSLR" stands for,
i've heard it many times, but i just can't seem to remember.
hmm...mayb even my subconscious realize that its not always about learning and trying hard to study about it like you're taking a course. its about simply doing what you want to do just because you feel like doing it.


sometimes i feel i take things too seriously. almost everything i'm interested in. whether if its sports, hobbies, traveling, art, video, photography, food, computer, studies, music. seriously i feel like learning everything! and if i were to learn, i expect myself to excel...

but maybe this time, photography ain't in the field of learning, just like music,
maybe this time, its about simply enjoying and clicking away.
i don't have to be good in it, i just have to be happy while doing it.

so, canon, don't be sad, i love you just as much as i love conor. =) though you don't know how to sing cik cak cik cak, but you're much much lighter than conor. so don't worry, i won't abandon you..^^

weeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~

getting to know you

"getting to know you~~ getting to know all about you~~~
getting to like you~~~ getting to hope you like me~~~~
haven't you noticed suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
because of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about you
day by day. "

i've always love this song, and i still do.. but in real life, i guess...we don't always like what we know....and the new things we learn about a person, aren't always beautiful things.

time doesn't really matter when it comes to knowing someone. give you four years and if you did not communicate with the other person, you still can't say you know him/her.

i came to realize this recently.
four years, and i realized that i know nothing much about this person. only until this year that i got to know a little better.i guess, only through face to face interaction that one can learn more about the other.

So, it turned out to be, this person wasn't really how i expected to be. it was kinda different with the image i had in mind. because in mind, i built an image that's all too perfect to even exist in this world. i thought i know a little about this person. as i was saying...i thought i knew...
how foolish of me to expect this person to be perfect. who is perfect? only God's perfect. so, how could i even think of blaming this person for not being perfect. as if i'm perfect... how shallow of me....i should slap myself for even having the slightest thought bout it! i thought i had patience, but it turned out to be that i wasn't patient enough.

and i was just telling my sister, i don't like what i see! how arrogant of me...

but today, God revealed to me again.
i'm learning to learn to see things differently. learning to look beyond the frame that i've created. learning to see not only the clean white picture but to also appreciate the black dots around it. learning to like the good and not hate the bad. learning to look beyond the weakness and focus on the strength, learning to pray that i'll be able to see things more maturely. to not be shallow in seeing God's unique creation. and also to be even more patient than patient in waiting to see what God has in mind. learning to focus on not what i am to receive but to think of more ways to give. learning to not get impatient when things didn't happen as expected. learning not to expect that i have to get what i planned for me. and when i start to think differently, i'm beginning to feel different too. and so, if my plan wasn't exactly God's plan, at least i know, i won't be discouraged, because, at least by then i'll know, what i planned wasn't suitable for me. God has something else in mind instead. And His plan? will just be the perfect one for me.




and i pray that God will help me see.....
and just as weekly wisdom state,

"As thunder follows lighting, so actions follow thoughts."

now that i'm thinking this way, i guess its just a matter of time for my actions to come this way.