Tuesday, January 29, 2013

u're big, and i'm small.

in the midst of ups and downs, rain and shine, dark grey water and pitch black sky, sometimes its difficult to look past all bad things that has happened around us and simply feel good bout being here, being alive, being healthy and being blessed. some days, it becomes so overwhelming and you wondered, why are you lying here on a comfy bed, in a cooling room wrapped in warm blanket and still complains...
though some days you're just contented and grateful, there are always some days where you just take it all for granted.

there are always certain point in life when you ask the questions, what for? what if? what then? what now?
what difference can we really make as a person? how much can we do or even, what can we do?
they say one can make a difference, at least to the other one.  just like that starfish story. but when the moon hangs low, and more things become overwhelming, its difficult to constantly stay within that high spirited happie positive mode.

there are days where you just have a heavy heart.
a heavy heart.
it only proves that you're still breathing, and living.

but where to lead ur heavy heart?

sometimes i let that heavy heart linger a little, and let it remind myself how weak, how tiny, how insignificant i am. in hope that this time will be the time where i'll learn to fully leave things to God, and let the heavy heart lead me back to God.

last time, i've tried.
this time, i'll try.
and till that one day when i try, i'll know how to not try.
for a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near.

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