what have i gotten myself into?

it just dawned on me today, during Architecture theory class that i'm actually in a Master course. An actual, freaking, no kidding MASTER IN ARCHITECTURE. like for real. for i can remember, i was just in kindergarten a while ago, how did i get here? and, what are these words?

" What are only conjectures have been put forward as utopian panaceas and supported with absolutist fervour. Corroboration is always sought; never falsification. There are frequent manifestos of what is manifestly unmanifest. This absolutist attitude encourages personal critism against the author rather than rational criticism of the conjecture.......



whaaaaaaaaat?

conjectures? absolutist fervour? manifestly unmanifest? do that word even exist?!
who uses so many big words in one single sentence and who writes them, who reads them, or even, who comprehends them?

it took me more than awhile and 120% focus to make sense of that whole structure of this sentence.

wow.

then it dawned on me.
no shit.
who am i kidding, i'm actually in a master course.

honestly, when day by day passes, step by step came by, sometimes, you really don't realize where you are, it is as if you were blinded by all your surrounding, and suddenly, your eyes were open, mind blown, someone knocked some sense into, and boom.

reality sinks in.

I HAVE ENROLLED MYSELF INTO A MASTER COURSE AND AM CURRENTLY IN MY FINAL YEAR, PREPARING TO WRITE A MASTER THESIS.

no kidding.

back in those days, architects wrote master thesis that changed lives, impact a whole new century, realize the first high rise building of the entire world, wrote essays that are still being quote 100 years later today.

what am i going to do for mine?
am i up for all these?

i never see myself as someone who would study this far, though nowadays, a degree, a mastercourse, is quite a norm, nothing to hooha about, but now that i'm standing before this, a quick panic attack came.

breathe....

now that realization has hit upon, i can't unknown the known just like how the manifest can't unmanifest what has manifested.

so i guess, i just have to walk with faith, in faith that God has known all these even when i do not know, that God has it all planned out, and when He put us to a certain path, He will definitely guide us through it, whether or not we allow Him to, the difference will just be a smooth or a rough ride ahead, but either way, we will get there. right?

and from what i learned today,
all these that i have said, are just conjectures, and what i assume to be are just falsifications that no one can say to be absolutely true.

and, i officially got myself confused on what this post supposed to be about.
THAT, is an example of what theories can do to you.